Researchers say that what we have learned or usually about 85% of what we know has been through our developed ability to listen. Although in general we spend much of our time listening, we are distracted or preoccupied or we forget 75% of what we hear. Pointing to one indisputable fact that we always need to develop our listening ability.
“Poor listening skills are at the root of many of society’s problems,” According to Rebecca Shafir, a speech pathologist and communications expert, she believes that this is often a factor in suicides, school violence, family breakups, and drug abuse. Social scientists observe that people have different listening styles. Some are people oriented listeners and like to hear all the colorful details surrounding a story. Others are action-oriented listeners and want the speaker to get to the point. “So, in a conversation between a people-oriented listener and an action-oriented listener, what we could have is a failure to communicate.”
For good reason, in the bible at Luke 8:18 Jesus stressed the need to “pay attention to how you listen.” Good listening shows good manners and it’s universal. It is a vital part of good conversation and skilled communication. Sensible suggestions on how to listen during a conversation include turning away from distractions, leaning slightly forward, and giving active feedback with eye contact and nodding. Since much of our learning depends on effective listening paying attention is something we must all continue to work on.
But how do you listen to elephants when some of the calls contain components that are below the level of human hearing and yet are so powerful that they can be heard by an elephant several miles away. Researchers say, when elephants talk ranging from low frequency rumblings to high frequency trumpets, roars, bellows, barks, and snorts.
“Experts in animal behavior are puzzled by the intricate ways in which elephants convey serious messages.” Joyce Poole a researcher who has spent over 20 years studying communication concepts among African elephants concludes that these huge creatures, known for their coveted tusks, exhibit feelings found in very few animals. “It is hard to watch elephants” remarkable behavior during a family or bond group greeting ceremony or at the birth of a new family member… and not imagine that they feel very strong emotions which could be best described by words such as joy, happiness, love, feelings of friendship, exuberance, amusement, pleasure, compassion, relief, and respect,” says Poole.
When getting together after being separated for long periods, their greetings turn to pandemonium, as members rush together with heads high and ears folded and flapping. At times, an elephant will even put its trunk into another’s mouth. These greetings seem to give the elephants a deep sense of joy, as if they were saying, “Wow! It’s simply fantastic to be with you again!”. Such bonds renew the support network vital to their survival.
Elephants seem to have a sense of humor too. Poole describes watching elephants draw the corners of their mouths in what she called a smile, wagging their heads in a manner suggesting amusement. She once initiated a game in which the animals took part, and for 15 minutes they behaved in a totally absurd manner. Two years later, some participants seemed to “smile” at her again, perhaps remembering her involvement in the game. Not only do elephants amuse each other in play but they also mimic sounds. In a research project, Poole heard a sound that was different from the normal elephant calls. On analysis, it was suggested that the elephants were imitating the noise made by trucks passing nearby. And they were apparently doing it for fun! It is as if elephants look for any excuse to get excited.
Much has been said about the way elephants appear to mourn when calamity befalls a family member. Poole once observed a female standing guard over her stillborn baby for three days and described it this way: Her “facial expressions” seemed “similar to a grief stricken, depressed person: her head and ears hung down, the corners of her mouth were turned down.”
Those who kill elephants for ivory do not consider the ‘psychological trauma’ of the orphans who may have witnessed the killing of their mothers. These babies spend the first few days at an animal orphanage trying to overcome their “grief.” A keeper reported having heard the orphans “scream” in the morning Repercussions can be observed several years after the death. Poole suggests that the elephants can detect the hand of man in their suffering.
I sincerely believe and look forward to the time when man and animals will live together in peace. As the book of Isaiah 11:6-9 in the bible says, “ And the wolf will actually reside for a while with the male lamb, and with the kid the leopard itself will lie down, and the calf and the manned young lion and the well-fed animal all together; and a mere little boy will be leader over them. And the cow and the bear themselves will feed; together their young ones will lie down. And even the lion will eat straw just like the bull. And the sucking child will certainly play upon the hole of the cobra; and upon the light aperture of a poisonous snake will a weaned child actually put his own hand. They will not do any harm or cause any ruin in all my holy mountain; because the earth will certainly be filled with the knowledge of Jehovah (Bible’s name of God) as the waters are covering the very sea.”
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Animals Behavior – Your dog can read your body language
As any poodle, spaniel or mutt owner knows, dogs have an uncanny ability to read human body language, whether it’s following a finger pointing the way to an errant tennis ball or spotting a glance that signals an imminent trip to the park.
But animal behavior experts have debated for years how much of this dogged perceptiveness is inborn & how much is learned by being raised around humans. New research, however, indicates that the capacity to communicate with humans silently through gestures & glances has become an inborn talent as a result of the thousands of years that dogs have lived, worked & played with people.
“They don’t speak like we do. But there is communication,” said Adam Miklosi of Eotvos University in Budapest, Hungary. Miklosi is among researchers around the world who have been working to gain a better understanding of the talents displayed by man’s best friends. Most recently, Miklosi & his colleagues conducted a unique experiment to try to tease out exactly how much of the capacity to interpret humans’ subtle is instinctive.
“People usually assume that dogs got more stupid because humans provided everything. All they have to do is lie back & enjoy life,” Miklosi said. “What we think is that dogs went through a re-evolution that started from some sort of wolf-like animals. They acquired skills that make them adaptive to the human environment. They interact with humans. They learn from humans.”
To test his ideas, Miklosi & his colleagues designed an experiment comparing dogs with their closest relatives – wolves. They took 13 wolf pups from their mothers when they were just four or five days old & raised them in human homes just like puppies.
As adult, the wolves received intensive contact with their human caretakers, who literally carried the animals with them wherever they went. Previous studies had shown that adult dogs were better than adult wolves at reading human body language. But it was unclear how much of that was inborn & how much dogs learned growing up around humans. This experiment was aimed at clarifying that point.
“The wolves got more human contact than the ordinary dogs got from their owners,” Miklosi said in a telephone interview. “They were really thrown into the human environment.” The research then trained the wolves & various breeds of dogs to get a piece of meat by pulling on a string. After the animals learned how to get the meat, the researchers attached the string so that no matter how hard the animals pulled they could not get the meat.
The wolves just continued to pull on the string in frustration. But the dogs quickly stopped pulling when the string did not move & turned to look at the faces of the humans, the researchers reported in the April 29 issue of the journal Current Biology. “The dogs gave up much earlier. They were, very quickly. Looking at the humans, the owners, looking at their faces,” Miklosi said.
“That is what is interesting. That never happened with the wolves. They just kept pulling. But the dogs, what they did were basically looked at the owners. If you observe this as a human, you would describe it as an asking-for-help gestures.”
The experiment shows that “the dogs have adapted to use this channel” of communication, Miklosi said. “This has provided the opportunity to communicate with us. And the wolves have not,” he said.
But animal behavior experts have debated for years how much of this dogged perceptiveness is inborn & how much is learned by being raised around humans. New research, however, indicates that the capacity to communicate with humans silently through gestures & glances has become an inborn talent as a result of the thousands of years that dogs have lived, worked & played with people.
“They don’t speak like we do. But there is communication,” said Adam Miklosi of Eotvos University in Budapest, Hungary. Miklosi is among researchers around the world who have been working to gain a better understanding of the talents displayed by man’s best friends. Most recently, Miklosi & his colleagues conducted a unique experiment to try to tease out exactly how much of the capacity to interpret humans’ subtle is instinctive.
“People usually assume that dogs got more stupid because humans provided everything. All they have to do is lie back & enjoy life,” Miklosi said. “What we think is that dogs went through a re-evolution that started from some sort of wolf-like animals. They acquired skills that make them adaptive to the human environment. They interact with humans. They learn from humans.”
To test his ideas, Miklosi & his colleagues designed an experiment comparing dogs with their closest relatives – wolves. They took 13 wolf pups from their mothers when they were just four or five days old & raised them in human homes just like puppies.
As adult, the wolves received intensive contact with their human caretakers, who literally carried the animals with them wherever they went. Previous studies had shown that adult dogs were better than adult wolves at reading human body language. But it was unclear how much of that was inborn & how much dogs learned growing up around humans. This experiment was aimed at clarifying that point.
“The wolves got more human contact than the ordinary dogs got from their owners,” Miklosi said in a telephone interview. “They were really thrown into the human environment.” The research then trained the wolves & various breeds of dogs to get a piece of meat by pulling on a string. After the animals learned how to get the meat, the researchers attached the string so that no matter how hard the animals pulled they could not get the meat.
The wolves just continued to pull on the string in frustration. But the dogs quickly stopped pulling when the string did not move & turned to look at the faces of the humans, the researchers reported in the April 29 issue of the journal Current Biology. “The dogs gave up much earlier. They were, very quickly. Looking at the humans, the owners, looking at their faces,” Miklosi said.
“That is what is interesting. That never happened with the wolves. They just kept pulling. But the dogs, what they did were basically looked at the owners. If you observe this as a human, you would describe it as an asking-for-help gestures.”
The experiment shows that “the dogs have adapted to use this channel” of communication, Miklosi said. “This has provided the opportunity to communicate with us. And the wolves have not,” he said.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Learning From the Communication of Animals
While the animal kingdom relies to a large extend on body language we on our part should learn from these animals, not to disregard the importance of it in our day-to-day lives.
As the bible suggests, “Ask the very beasts, and they will teach you; ask the wild birds --- they will tell you; crawling creatures will instruct you, fish in the sea will inform you.” --- Job 12; 7, 8.
In fact, watching the behavior of animals or of domesticated pets is to study life. We have several instincts that animals still possess but which Man has lost. This is because of acculturation, (adaptation) environment, education, ignorance, experience, and everyday life, which have blunted those essential instincts.
Animals that have highly developed scent glands usually signal to the other animals by secreting strong chemicals called pheromones. Their urine or faeces acts as a naming and signaling channel to other animals about their ownership of a certain territory.
This scent marks are to warn other animals and take possession of the area they exercise control. Animals of the same species are aware of this and they keep away if they don’t want to get into a fight.
But scientist are now saying that pheromones do more than just stamp territories they act as a chemical notice board that other animals “read” with keen interest. If you were in a farm, garden or in a forest, you may have not realized that a number of animals were communicating through body language.
“Animals use every sense, gesturing with appendages and body position; sending and receiving subtle – or not so subtle in the case of frightened skunks – odor signals; squeaking, squawking, singing and chirping; sending and receiving electrical signals; flashing lights; changing skin pigmentation; ‘dancing;’ and tapping and vibrating the surface they walk on.” *(The book, The Language of Animals)
Do all these signals mean something? Researchers are now beginning to discover through painstaking observation some meanings to these signals. If you had a domestic fowl in your garden, you would agree that your observation has always been that when they are making a high-pitched, KUK, KUK, KUK, KOOP KUK, they are communicating.
(Figure 3)
But you may have not realized that that sounds is to warn other fowls that a small reddish-brown flesh eating mammal called a weasel is out to prey on them.
KUK KUK KUK KOOP KUK
Figure 3
They communicate meaningful information and not meaningless rattle.
Scientist who researched deeper than that now say the fowl would emit a single long shriek if it saw a hawk and that every call is different depending on the threat at hand. This finding shows that the birds communicate meaningful information and not meaningless rattle
Plant Communication!
Did you know that plants could communicate with other plants and even with a few animals? The magazine ‘Discover’ have discovered to our amazement on the Netherlands that Lima bean plants send out distress signal to mites, which can kill their attackers.
For example, when spider mites attack these bean plants, these plants are known to release immediately a chemical that attracts other mites, which can then fight their enemy spider mites.
Many other plants like the corn, tobacco and cotton plants have their own communication mechanism. When caterpillars attack them they are scientifically known to emit wasp – a deadly enemy to caterpillars.
Accordingly one researcher has this to say, “These plants are communicating to their helpers not only that they are been attacked and harmed but also saying clearly who are the attackers.” (Figure 4)
Plants are also known to send out alarms to protect other undamaged plants whether eaten by caterpillars, injected by fungus or powdery mildew (a destructive growth of minute fungi on plants) or ingested by spider mites the chemical alarm they send also is known to beef up the defense system of undamaged plants heavily.
Figure 4
Amazing isn’t it? That Plants too can Communicate!
Insects Communication
Bees
The dancing honeybee is known to tell other bees where nectar is, how much there is, how far it is, in what direction it is and the kind of flower it is on. How does it do it? Instinctive communication!
For example, a bee, discovering a bountiful supply of nectar thousand of meters away, will return and give directions to its fellow bees by flying in a series of complex patterns in front of the hive. The other bees will then fly straight to the food source.
Termites
Millions of blind termites are known to coordinate their labors to build and air–condition their complex structures. How do they do it? Instinctive communication!
Butterflies
Monarch butterflies are known to cover more than 3,000 kilometers by flying from Canada and then spending their winter in California or Mexico. Along the way back home they lay their eggs on milkweed plants.
When the new butterflies are born they take the same route back home from where their parents came and later amazingly before winter they are known to take the 3000 over kilometers journey to California or Mexico resting on the same groves of trees their parents rested. Its amazing isn’t it?
(From the book, The Story of Pollination)
“They are instinctively wise.” Says the bible book of Proverbs in Chapter 30 verse 24.
Ants
While some ant colonies may contain only a few dozen ants, others have a huge population running into the hundreds of thousands, and although generally of moderate size, the nest or tunneled area may grow until it is as much as an acre in size.
Within each colony there are three basic castes: the “queen” is not such in a governmental sense and more fittingly can be called the “mother” ant, for her essential function is that of egg-laying.
Whereas a “queen” ant may live as much as fifteen years, the males live only long enough to mate and then die.
The worker ants, whose life-span may reach six years, have various duties to perform, such as searching for and gathering in food for the colony, feeding the “queen,” acting as nurses for the larvae, cleaning the nest or digging new chambers as expansion is needed, and defending the nest.
Worker ants may be of different sizes and proportions; even within the same colony, in some cases the larger ones acting as “soldiers” in the event of invasion of the nest. Still, despite the fairly precise division of work and the relatively complex social organization existent, there is no sign of any superior “officer” or taskmaster.
The ‘wisdom’ of the ants is not the product of intelligent reasoning but results from the instinctive communication skills with which they endowed by their creator. Man can benefit much by learning from it.
As the bible suggests, “Ask the very beasts, and they will teach you; ask the wild birds --- they will tell you; crawling creatures will instruct you, fish in the sea will inform you.” --- Job 12; 7, 8.
In fact, watching the behavior of animals or of domesticated pets is to study life. We have several instincts that animals still possess but which Man has lost. This is because of acculturation, (adaptation) environment, education, ignorance, experience, and everyday life, which have blunted those essential instincts.
Animals that have highly developed scent glands usually signal to the other animals by secreting strong chemicals called pheromones. Their urine or faeces acts as a naming and signaling channel to other animals about their ownership of a certain territory.
This scent marks are to warn other animals and take possession of the area they exercise control. Animals of the same species are aware of this and they keep away if they don’t want to get into a fight.
But scientist are now saying that pheromones do more than just stamp territories they act as a chemical notice board that other animals “read” with keen interest. If you were in a farm, garden or in a forest, you may have not realized that a number of animals were communicating through body language.
“Animals use every sense, gesturing with appendages and body position; sending and receiving subtle – or not so subtle in the case of frightened skunks – odor signals; squeaking, squawking, singing and chirping; sending and receiving electrical signals; flashing lights; changing skin pigmentation; ‘dancing;’ and tapping and vibrating the surface they walk on.” *(The book, The Language of Animals)
Do all these signals mean something? Researchers are now beginning to discover through painstaking observation some meanings to these signals. If you had a domestic fowl in your garden, you would agree that your observation has always been that when they are making a high-pitched, KUK, KUK, KUK, KOOP KUK, they are communicating.
(Figure 3)
But you may have not realized that that sounds is to warn other fowls that a small reddish-brown flesh eating mammal called a weasel is out to prey on them.
KUK KUK KUK KOOP KUK
Figure 3
They communicate meaningful information and not meaningless rattle.
Scientist who researched deeper than that now say the fowl would emit a single long shriek if it saw a hawk and that every call is different depending on the threat at hand. This finding shows that the birds communicate meaningful information and not meaningless rattle
Plant Communication!
Did you know that plants could communicate with other plants and even with a few animals? The magazine ‘Discover’ have discovered to our amazement on the Netherlands that Lima bean plants send out distress signal to mites, which can kill their attackers.
For example, when spider mites attack these bean plants, these plants are known to release immediately a chemical that attracts other mites, which can then fight their enemy spider mites.
Many other plants like the corn, tobacco and cotton plants have their own communication mechanism. When caterpillars attack them they are scientifically known to emit wasp – a deadly enemy to caterpillars.
Accordingly one researcher has this to say, “These plants are communicating to their helpers not only that they are been attacked and harmed but also saying clearly who are the attackers.” (Figure 4)
Plants are also known to send out alarms to protect other undamaged plants whether eaten by caterpillars, injected by fungus or powdery mildew (a destructive growth of minute fungi on plants) or ingested by spider mites the chemical alarm they send also is known to beef up the defense system of undamaged plants heavily.
Figure 4
Amazing isn’t it? That Plants too can Communicate!
Insects Communication
Bees
The dancing honeybee is known to tell other bees where nectar is, how much there is, how far it is, in what direction it is and the kind of flower it is on. How does it do it? Instinctive communication!
For example, a bee, discovering a bountiful supply of nectar thousand of meters away, will return and give directions to its fellow bees by flying in a series of complex patterns in front of the hive. The other bees will then fly straight to the food source.
Termites
Millions of blind termites are known to coordinate their labors to build and air–condition their complex structures. How do they do it? Instinctive communication!
Butterflies
Monarch butterflies are known to cover more than 3,000 kilometers by flying from Canada and then spending their winter in California or Mexico. Along the way back home they lay their eggs on milkweed plants.
When the new butterflies are born they take the same route back home from where their parents came and later amazingly before winter they are known to take the 3000 over kilometers journey to California or Mexico resting on the same groves of trees their parents rested. Its amazing isn’t it?
(From the book, The Story of Pollination)
“They are instinctively wise.” Says the bible book of Proverbs in Chapter 30 verse 24.
Ants
While some ant colonies may contain only a few dozen ants, others have a huge population running into the hundreds of thousands, and although generally of moderate size, the nest or tunneled area may grow until it is as much as an acre in size.
Within each colony there are three basic castes: the “queen” is not such in a governmental sense and more fittingly can be called the “mother” ant, for her essential function is that of egg-laying.
Whereas a “queen” ant may live as much as fifteen years, the males live only long enough to mate and then die.
The worker ants, whose life-span may reach six years, have various duties to perform, such as searching for and gathering in food for the colony, feeding the “queen,” acting as nurses for the larvae, cleaning the nest or digging new chambers as expansion is needed, and defending the nest.
Worker ants may be of different sizes and proportions; even within the same colony, in some cases the larger ones acting as “soldiers” in the event of invasion of the nest. Still, despite the fairly precise division of work and the relatively complex social organization existent, there is no sign of any superior “officer” or taskmaster.
The ‘wisdom’ of the ants is not the product of intelligent reasoning but results from the instinctive communication skills with which they endowed by their creator. Man can benefit much by learning from it.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Is body language important in an investigation?
With the breakthrough in neuroscience since the 1990 – 2000 called the “Decade of the Brain” Science has provided us a clearer representation of what the unspoken signs and signals mean, because we now know how the brain develops non-verbal cues. It is therefore important as a science to teach investigators & interrogators to understand what it means to be human being.
Body language is a part in sociology, psychology, anthropology, psychiatric, and human relationship. A good understanding of it helps investigators to avoid in certain cases a judgmental attitude in an investigation but to display a more sympathetic & understanding approach. On the other hand successful investigators have the ability to play many roles & wear different masks and this is possible if we learn to use body language effectively.
Body language is more natural and reliable than words; it therefore helps in arriving at a conclusion of guilt versus innocence by observing the pattern of physiological responding. But I do tell my participants that body language can be overstated, untrustworthy, lessened and so on and the tricky part, that is in some instance, we never really know if that part of body language is bona fide and spontaneous or manipulative. That’s why we need to stick to rules in interpreting and let your intuition guide.
Investigation is an art & science, it should be developed, and good investigators are not born. Medical science, to date, has not discovered the investigating gene. Instead this skill is a product of a genuine understanding and the observation of human nature and the use of other techniques.
As I tell investigators that their primary purpose is the achieving an outcome or purpose, arriving at the truth, through not only developing analytical skills but through observing others, and that body language skills helps not only in detecting deception from body signals or bodily cues, it helps to show concern for their feelings, anxieties, understand people and their behavior & knowing how liars do & do not give themselves away but at the same time it helps them to be other oriented and attentive to the body language of the other to help get what they want with the minimum resistance and in the most humanitarian way.
In my body language course, I teach NLP or Nuero Lilnguistic Programming techniques, the creating of rapport through matching and mirroring that is matching physiology through body posture, gesture, eyes movement, breathing pattern, including muscular relaxation and tension, the building of trust, understanding thinking preference and understanding the science of eye movement cues. In rapport words alone is not enough while words can create rapport it can also cause negative feelings or break rapport. The accompanying body language by the investigator is what total communication is all about; it helps getting the outcome.
The other thing I teach is how to determine thinking preference or preferred representation. Two “Visualizers” for example are likely to get along better then a visualizer and a kinesthetic person in an investigation or conversation. Likewise,
two people with an auditory preference, probably naturally good listeners, and with similar timing and clarity of speech, will get along fine. But you can also create rapport by being aware of a preference, and ‘mirroring’ the physiological characteristics of the other person, even if your own preferred representation system is different.
A suspect seated in an investigation is unlikely to be aware of this mirroring of their body posture, as it is an unconscious, natural way to express rapport. The mirroring might also include speech, pitch and tone of voice. Rapport is more likely to be due to a common way of sensing and thinking, rather than the content of thought or the subject of communication. But mirroring is also a skill that can be learned, and certainly one that expert investigators practice because the very act of mirroring can be telepathic you can sometimes just ‘read’ or know what your opponent is thinking which helps greatly in an investigation.
An important information for investigators is that spoken language is processed in your left side of your brain where else body language is processed in your right side of your brain. Rightly we use more right handed gestures that play to our left visual field and into our right brain, this understanding helps in an investigation especially in seating strategies.
Eye movements or eye accessing cues is another important technique where right or left handed people are wired up differently. It can help the investigator determine which thinking sense is been used to determine truthfulness.
Body language can be deciphered (decoded)
I teach my participants rules in interpreting body language because we can easily misinterpret, we confuse anxiety to deception, fear to surprise, contemplation to disagreement and so forth.
There is no such thing as reading a person like a book. You have to look out for a cluster or patterns of behavior. You have to understand the context as it is vital for understanding all messages, especially body language. You must look out for congruency of actions that is if the behaviors match the words. Lastly you must understand the culture of the person you interpret.
My experiences with the Government agencies & the Police Force.
In June 2004, I trained customs enforcement officers in Indonesia. I taught them the type of drugs used by observing the pupils of a suspect; As pupil dilation and its constriction depend on the type of drugs used. I did not know that soon after my training an African drug pusher was arrested in the Airport in Jakarta when one of my trainee apprehended him after seeing his drugged eyes and facial expression. I felt very pleased, when this was related to me by the Indonesian customs authorities.
In Malaysia I have participants who relate in class when they attend my advance course of the experiences they have in putting to use many of their new found knowledge. There was this Commander from the Malaysia Maritime Enforcement Agency (MMEA) who applied his new skill in narrowing down suspects and eventually catching the culprit, his rousing story to the class not only encouraged participants to apply what they learn but has inspired me to continuously strive for excellence in my trainings.
My intermediate courses are 5 days long, my advance course is another 3 days where participants come back after a week or so to go through vigorous activities, workshops and group case studies.
One of the highlights of the seminar is when they learn to detect deception through interesting role-plays with group participation in detecting liars and smugglers. A workshop in which smugglers carry “Dangerous drugs” in a mock up play with a highly motivated situation where the group which apprehends the most ‘smugglers’ win prizes. A game that test ones ability to put to use all the body language cues learnt. In this workshop they first obtain a baseline of a person’s normal behavior and then carefully record changes during an alleged deception. Second they look for clusters of cues, three or more. No one change in behavior is a reliable or valid indicator of deception.
In the police force there is a joke, interrogators have what they call psychology & sikulogy (siku is elbow, the using of the elbow). If they can’t get the truth with psychology they may go for sikulogy. In body language I teach psychology not sikulogy.
I have taught the police force from year 2002. I always promote and still believe you need not be hard on suspects. Psychology is the art & science of mind over matter you can win through mind games rather then brute force. You would be surprised that some of the hardest criminal had been won over with a soft psychological approach. This course has benefited my participants not only in their work environment, but at home as well, as my participants have related the numerous other benefits of this course.
I am really privileged to have served and continue serving the numerous government agencies like the Royal Malaysia Police Special Branch & the Criminal Investigation Department, Malaysia Maritime Enforcement Agency (MMEA), The Royal Brunei Police Force, The Royal Malaysian Navy, The Armed Forces Intelligence Unit, The Immigration Department Malaysia, The Royal Customs Malaysia, The Royal Customs Brunei Darussalam, The Customs & Excise Department of the Republic of Indonesia where I have done the “Trainer the Trainer’s” course, The Anti Corruption Bureau Brunei Darussalam, Malaysia Anti Corruption Commission, (MACC), The Special Investigation Unit of Bank Negara Malaysia, National Anti-Drugs Agency (NADA), The Prisons Department Malaysia, Malaysia Airports Holdings Berhad, Petronas Berhad, Telecom Malaysia Berhad, The Malaysian Insurance Institute & various other corporate organizations inside & outside Malaysia including Singapore.
I thank the Police Force for having cooperated well with me, especially the Criminal Investigation Department Director, Datuk Seri Mohd Bakri bin Mohd Zinin, who has allowed me the use of their trainers and their instruments like the Digital Voice Stress Analyzer and the Polygraph instruments for my advance body language courses. The Police force recognizes my courses as an important part of promoting Human Rights values in the country.
This 4th – 8th May, 2009, I will be doing the 5 days intermediate course with the Malaysia Maritime Enforcement Agency (MMEA). Followed by the advance course from the 18th – 20th, May, 2009, to the same group of 24 participants.
Some general facts about body language & the usual signs that people give away in different situations.Body language isn’t really a language, experts call it nonverbal communication or to be precise nonlinguistic communication, it embraces all the ways we communicate without language, like eye contact, facial expressions, touch, hand gestures, body position including the legs.. It also includes space, timing, territory our appearance and dressing.
Sign language used by the deaf and dumb that is a language, and it is not a part that belongs to body language.
Language has its own secret system known only to the speaker and the user of the language. Body language has not any, it is more important & maybe more powerful than language itself.
Generally, it is the eyes and facial expressions that can tell a lot if we know when to look for it. As the German Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 – 1900) put it, “One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth”. To me the German Philosopher though not aware of the abundance of scientific discoveries we have today knew precisely what he was talking about.
I teach my participants never to falsely accuse a person under investigation because it produces nervous actions which can then lead to an Othello error (In Shakespeare’s play Othello misreads Desdemona’s distress as evidence of her infidelity. The Othello error occurs when a truth teller is falsely accused of lying based on body language cues such as anxiety or agitation) and neither to be suspicious because suspicious people’s tendency is to read truthful body language as deceptive.
Weird acting people are commonly thought to be deceptive even when they are completely truthful so we have to be careful not to reach unwise conclusions. One should also discount the many reasons like anxiety, fear, and extreme tense behavior by reading body language when determining deceptive behavior. Some signs are consistent indicators of deception like, speech hesitations, increase in vocal pitch, speech errors, pupil dilation, blinking, hand shrugs & self touching.
Several studies have shown that liars send more negative and emotional body language than truth-tellers. Likewise, certain body language behaviors like blinking and self touching could easily be a result of negative emotions.
Generally we are lousy lie detectors. Even body language experts rarely hit above 80%This is because we are truth bias because of our religious trainings, a belief that other people are generally telling the truth so as to avoid ourselves to seem disbelieving, bitter, and suspicious of others .
To be honest no one can produce a totally valid deception profile. Except, Dr. Desmond Morris, the British body language guru who believes and I tend to agree, that there is one, the facial twitch, which is called the micro momentary facial expression, which last less than one tenth of a second when a person tells you a lie. It is undetectable by the naked eye if you are not trained, but not a problem if you still it in the frame of a video, you may be able to see it. If you compare it with other truthful segments of the liar such fleeting expression are non-existent.
You cannot read a liar like a mystery novel and there is no definite way to detect deception. That does not mean you don’t need to attend my body language courses. I train one to look for a cluster of deception cues; three or more is useful, so that we can compare the set of allegedly deceptive behavior to the normal baseline set of truthful behaviors.
My participants learn to detect deception only by following these steps. First they obtain a baseline of a person’s normal behavior and then carefully record changes during an alleged deception. Second they look for clusters of cues, three or more. No one change in behavior is a reliable or valid indicator of deception.
I think this will be of interest to the general public
Generally the public don’t trust me simply because they think as a body language trainer I can read their body language. That’s not fair. Your postures and gestures are meaningful, but only as patterns, not as explicit symbols with a meaning. Your smile for example, cannot be reduced to a word like amused, happy, joyful, warm, polite or pleasant. Your smile can mean anyone of those things, or none of these things. So in truth your body language doesn’t have explicit dictionary definitions like words. Therefore it’s not correct to fear me as though I can read your private thoughts.
The Pointing Gesture used by Malaysians with the closed palm and the pointed thumb is a rude and very offensive gesture in Ghana. It is also a tense behavior in psycho physiology. I therefore advise Malaysians to instead use the open palm position to show direction which not only is a universal gesture that signifies submissiveness and politeness but also a gesture that is used to signify openness, freedom, and a relaxed positive behavior. Closed palm signifies closed body language, tension, compression, negativity, and a behavior which is counter productive, neither is it soothing nor comforting. So its best to avoid the closed palm and the pointed thumb shown as a direction pointer.
For those involved in domestic inquiry, this course on, “Understanding body language deception cues” or ‘Fraud detection” can be very useful.
Cal me at 012 672 1404
Body language is a part in sociology, psychology, anthropology, psychiatric, and human relationship. A good understanding of it helps investigators to avoid in certain cases a judgmental attitude in an investigation but to display a more sympathetic & understanding approach. On the other hand successful investigators have the ability to play many roles & wear different masks and this is possible if we learn to use body language effectively.
Body language is more natural and reliable than words; it therefore helps in arriving at a conclusion of guilt versus innocence by observing the pattern of physiological responding. But I do tell my participants that body language can be overstated, untrustworthy, lessened and so on and the tricky part, that is in some instance, we never really know if that part of body language is bona fide and spontaneous or manipulative. That’s why we need to stick to rules in interpreting and let your intuition guide.
Investigation is an art & science, it should be developed, and good investigators are not born. Medical science, to date, has not discovered the investigating gene. Instead this skill is a product of a genuine understanding and the observation of human nature and the use of other techniques.
As I tell investigators that their primary purpose is the achieving an outcome or purpose, arriving at the truth, through not only developing analytical skills but through observing others, and that body language skills helps not only in detecting deception from body signals or bodily cues, it helps to show concern for their feelings, anxieties, understand people and their behavior & knowing how liars do & do not give themselves away but at the same time it helps them to be other oriented and attentive to the body language of the other to help get what they want with the minimum resistance and in the most humanitarian way.
In my body language course, I teach NLP or Nuero Lilnguistic Programming techniques, the creating of rapport through matching and mirroring that is matching physiology through body posture, gesture, eyes movement, breathing pattern, including muscular relaxation and tension, the building of trust, understanding thinking preference and understanding the science of eye movement cues. In rapport words alone is not enough while words can create rapport it can also cause negative feelings or break rapport. The accompanying body language by the investigator is what total communication is all about; it helps getting the outcome.
The other thing I teach is how to determine thinking preference or preferred representation. Two “Visualizers” for example are likely to get along better then a visualizer and a kinesthetic person in an investigation or conversation. Likewise,
two people with an auditory preference, probably naturally good listeners, and with similar timing and clarity of speech, will get along fine. But you can also create rapport by being aware of a preference, and ‘mirroring’ the physiological characteristics of the other person, even if your own preferred representation system is different.
A suspect seated in an investigation is unlikely to be aware of this mirroring of their body posture, as it is an unconscious, natural way to express rapport. The mirroring might also include speech, pitch and tone of voice. Rapport is more likely to be due to a common way of sensing and thinking, rather than the content of thought or the subject of communication. But mirroring is also a skill that can be learned, and certainly one that expert investigators practice because the very act of mirroring can be telepathic you can sometimes just ‘read’ or know what your opponent is thinking which helps greatly in an investigation.
An important information for investigators is that spoken language is processed in your left side of your brain where else body language is processed in your right side of your brain. Rightly we use more right handed gestures that play to our left visual field and into our right brain, this understanding helps in an investigation especially in seating strategies.
Eye movements or eye accessing cues is another important technique where right or left handed people are wired up differently. It can help the investigator determine which thinking sense is been used to determine truthfulness.
Body language can be deciphered (decoded)
I teach my participants rules in interpreting body language because we can easily misinterpret, we confuse anxiety to deception, fear to surprise, contemplation to disagreement and so forth.
There is no such thing as reading a person like a book. You have to look out for a cluster or patterns of behavior. You have to understand the context as it is vital for understanding all messages, especially body language. You must look out for congruency of actions that is if the behaviors match the words. Lastly you must understand the culture of the person you interpret.
My experiences with the Government agencies & the Police Force.
In June 2004, I trained customs enforcement officers in Indonesia. I taught them the type of drugs used by observing the pupils of a suspect; As pupil dilation and its constriction depend on the type of drugs used. I did not know that soon after my training an African drug pusher was arrested in the Airport in Jakarta when one of my trainee apprehended him after seeing his drugged eyes and facial expression. I felt very pleased, when this was related to me by the Indonesian customs authorities.
In Malaysia I have participants who relate in class when they attend my advance course of the experiences they have in putting to use many of their new found knowledge. There was this Commander from the Malaysia Maritime Enforcement Agency (MMEA) who applied his new skill in narrowing down suspects and eventually catching the culprit, his rousing story to the class not only encouraged participants to apply what they learn but has inspired me to continuously strive for excellence in my trainings.
My intermediate courses are 5 days long, my advance course is another 3 days where participants come back after a week or so to go through vigorous activities, workshops and group case studies.
One of the highlights of the seminar is when they learn to detect deception through interesting role-plays with group participation in detecting liars and smugglers. A workshop in which smugglers carry “Dangerous drugs” in a mock up play with a highly motivated situation where the group which apprehends the most ‘smugglers’ win prizes. A game that test ones ability to put to use all the body language cues learnt. In this workshop they first obtain a baseline of a person’s normal behavior and then carefully record changes during an alleged deception. Second they look for clusters of cues, three or more. No one change in behavior is a reliable or valid indicator of deception.
In the police force there is a joke, interrogators have what they call psychology & sikulogy (siku is elbow, the using of the elbow). If they can’t get the truth with psychology they may go for sikulogy. In body language I teach psychology not sikulogy.
I have taught the police force from year 2002. I always promote and still believe you need not be hard on suspects. Psychology is the art & science of mind over matter you can win through mind games rather then brute force. You would be surprised that some of the hardest criminal had been won over with a soft psychological approach. This course has benefited my participants not only in their work environment, but at home as well, as my participants have related the numerous other benefits of this course.
I am really privileged to have served and continue serving the numerous government agencies like the Royal Malaysia Police Special Branch & the Criminal Investigation Department, Malaysia Maritime Enforcement Agency (MMEA), The Royal Brunei Police Force, The Royal Malaysian Navy, The Armed Forces Intelligence Unit, The Immigration Department Malaysia, The Royal Customs Malaysia, The Royal Customs Brunei Darussalam, The Customs & Excise Department of the Republic of Indonesia where I have done the “Trainer the Trainer’s” course, The Anti Corruption Bureau Brunei Darussalam, Malaysia Anti Corruption Commission, (MACC), The Special Investigation Unit of Bank Negara Malaysia, National Anti-Drugs Agency (NADA), The Prisons Department Malaysia, Malaysia Airports Holdings Berhad, Petronas Berhad, Telecom Malaysia Berhad, The Malaysian Insurance Institute & various other corporate organizations inside & outside Malaysia including Singapore.
I thank the Police Force for having cooperated well with me, especially the Criminal Investigation Department Director, Datuk Seri Mohd Bakri bin Mohd Zinin, who has allowed me the use of their trainers and their instruments like the Digital Voice Stress Analyzer and the Polygraph instruments for my advance body language courses. The Police force recognizes my courses as an important part of promoting Human Rights values in the country.
This 4th – 8th May, 2009, I will be doing the 5 days intermediate course with the Malaysia Maritime Enforcement Agency (MMEA). Followed by the advance course from the 18th – 20th, May, 2009, to the same group of 24 participants.
Some general facts about body language & the usual signs that people give away in different situations.Body language isn’t really a language, experts call it nonverbal communication or to be precise nonlinguistic communication, it embraces all the ways we communicate without language, like eye contact, facial expressions, touch, hand gestures, body position including the legs.. It also includes space, timing, territory our appearance and dressing.
Sign language used by the deaf and dumb that is a language, and it is not a part that belongs to body language.
Language has its own secret system known only to the speaker and the user of the language. Body language has not any, it is more important & maybe more powerful than language itself.
Generally, it is the eyes and facial expressions that can tell a lot if we know when to look for it. As the German Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 – 1900) put it, “One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth”. To me the German Philosopher though not aware of the abundance of scientific discoveries we have today knew precisely what he was talking about.
I teach my participants never to falsely accuse a person under investigation because it produces nervous actions which can then lead to an Othello error (In Shakespeare’s play Othello misreads Desdemona’s distress as evidence of her infidelity. The Othello error occurs when a truth teller is falsely accused of lying based on body language cues such as anxiety or agitation) and neither to be suspicious because suspicious people’s tendency is to read truthful body language as deceptive.
Weird acting people are commonly thought to be deceptive even when they are completely truthful so we have to be careful not to reach unwise conclusions. One should also discount the many reasons like anxiety, fear, and extreme tense behavior by reading body language when determining deceptive behavior. Some signs are consistent indicators of deception like, speech hesitations, increase in vocal pitch, speech errors, pupil dilation, blinking, hand shrugs & self touching.
Several studies have shown that liars send more negative and emotional body language than truth-tellers. Likewise, certain body language behaviors like blinking and self touching could easily be a result of negative emotions.
Generally we are lousy lie detectors. Even body language experts rarely hit above 80%This is because we are truth bias because of our religious trainings, a belief that other people are generally telling the truth so as to avoid ourselves to seem disbelieving, bitter, and suspicious of others .
To be honest no one can produce a totally valid deception profile. Except, Dr. Desmond Morris, the British body language guru who believes and I tend to agree, that there is one, the facial twitch, which is called the micro momentary facial expression, which last less than one tenth of a second when a person tells you a lie. It is undetectable by the naked eye if you are not trained, but not a problem if you still it in the frame of a video, you may be able to see it. If you compare it with other truthful segments of the liar such fleeting expression are non-existent.
You cannot read a liar like a mystery novel and there is no definite way to detect deception. That does not mean you don’t need to attend my body language courses. I train one to look for a cluster of deception cues; three or more is useful, so that we can compare the set of allegedly deceptive behavior to the normal baseline set of truthful behaviors.
My participants learn to detect deception only by following these steps. First they obtain a baseline of a person’s normal behavior and then carefully record changes during an alleged deception. Second they look for clusters of cues, three or more. No one change in behavior is a reliable or valid indicator of deception.
I think this will be of interest to the general public
Generally the public don’t trust me simply because they think as a body language trainer I can read their body language. That’s not fair. Your postures and gestures are meaningful, but only as patterns, not as explicit symbols with a meaning. Your smile for example, cannot be reduced to a word like amused, happy, joyful, warm, polite or pleasant. Your smile can mean anyone of those things, or none of these things. So in truth your body language doesn’t have explicit dictionary definitions like words. Therefore it’s not correct to fear me as though I can read your private thoughts.
The Pointing Gesture used by Malaysians with the closed palm and the pointed thumb is a rude and very offensive gesture in Ghana. It is also a tense behavior in psycho physiology. I therefore advise Malaysians to instead use the open palm position to show direction which not only is a universal gesture that signifies submissiveness and politeness but also a gesture that is used to signify openness, freedom, and a relaxed positive behavior. Closed palm signifies closed body language, tension, compression, negativity, and a behavior which is counter productive, neither is it soothing nor comforting. So its best to avoid the closed palm and the pointed thumb shown as a direction pointer.
For those involved in domestic inquiry, this course on, “Understanding body language deception cues” or ‘Fraud detection” can be very useful.
Cal me at 012 672 1404
Thursday, February 26, 2009
BODY LANGUAGE PRECONCEPTIONS
In those days when I was conducting non-verbal communication seminars, sales organization often overwhelm me with their replies. ”I don’t think you can get anything out of a body language seminar; the salespeople won’t be interested in a boring subject.”
This preconception about body language wasn’t an isolated case then. People in positions were just ignorant. They were not aware that it was a subject taught in universities as a big part of communication. Even today in this 21st century we need to debunk and explain these biases about these body language seminars to these aliens to arouse interest in them.
But wait a moment, because, the first international conference on non-verbal communication was only held in the 20th century recently (1967) in Oxford, organized by Britain’s famed authors and doctors of social psychology, Dr Michael Argyle and Dr Ralp Exlline. It was long after the 19th century (1872) publication by Charles Darwin on the first scientific study of nonverbal communication, “The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals.” So how could we be so well-read.
Today, institutes and centers for Non verbal studies have prospered both in Britain and in the United States of America. Writings and research on findings and communication techniques have filled books more so since the “Decade of the Brain” (1990 – 2000) discoveries in neuroscience where we have been provided a clearer picture of what the unspoken signs and signals mean. Because we now know how the brain processes nonverbal cues it has contributed much to self-improvement, interrogations, salesmanship, and therapies for normal and abnormal people and for those used by encounter groups.
FIVE MAIN PRECONCEPTIONS.
The first is body language is not important; oral language will do. On the contrary, there are clear and important similarities between verbal and non-verbal language.
Both are modes of communication. You use words when you have to be precise, detailed, or want to talk through problems, plans, solutions, and you use them to influence another person but not without the use of non-verbals, that is, appearance, posture, gesture, gaze, proximity, vocal qualities, facial expressions and smells.
Most of us are not aware that non-verbal and verbal communication has different functions. We don’t express emotions through words alone; we use our face and body too.
When establishing and maintaining friendships and other relationships we can’t do without non-verbal communication signals, such as proximity, tone of voice, touch, gaze and facial expressions.
In creating impressions on others through our physical behavior, we are deliberately or involuntarily sending a non-verbal message across and that’s important for both senders and receivers.
2. The second preconception is that body language differs across the world, so it is not important to learn it. To an extent, gestures vary in meaning in other parts of the world, but that only makes the study even more fascinating and relevant.
Desmond Morris, who traveled to more than 60 countries while making field studies of human behavior, says that certain familiar gestures do disappear and other strange ones take their place, but there are gestures that do not differ at all.
In fact, he says, they are universal and make you feel at home even when you are on the other side of the globe.
A smile is a smile the world over; a frown is a frown; a stare is a stare. Arms folding shows defensiveness; arms placed on the hips reveal that I feel anti-social-these are common gestures all over the world.
3. The third preconception is that body language is manipulative; you can put on a show just to get your way and therefore it is undesirable.
That’s only seeing the other side of the coin. All scientific discoveries can be used for good or bad and body language skills are no exception.
Skills in body language techniques and its importance in social behavior do not make being genuine and sincere less pleasing.
Individuals must exercise some restraint in their interpersonal feelings, such as aggression, if their organization or group is to function harmoniously.
It has been said that the most effective and desirable behavior is that of controlling the inner expressions of one’s feelings, which is one of the social training skills in body language.
Therefore, we should not assume that the skilled body language exponent will spend his time playing tricks on other people and controlling situations to his advantage.
4. The fourth preconception is that body language awareness and skills make people self-conscious and awkward in their interaction with others.
To answer that any trainer will tell you that when a person learns a new skill, such as handling a car or bicycle for the first time, he goes through stages when the behavior is awkward and requires full attention. Once these stages are over and competence is acquired, he doesn’t need to reflect on the training while he is driving or cycling. The skill to do that is habitual. The same is true with body language skills.
5. The fifth preconception about body language is that a single gesture means a single thing. Crossed arms, for example, may mean a closed mind, but it can also mean anxiety, anger or feeling cold. You can’t interpret one gesture without considering the whole context.
RULES FOR INTERPRETINGIn body language there are four main rules for interpreting. The first rule is cluster, where you have to look out for three or more gestures in order to interpret correctly.
The second rule is context, where we must take gestures into account based with the situation and the identity of the person using those. A person seated with arms and legs tightly crossed in a cold room, for example, may not mean a closed mind, but feeling cold.
The third is congruence where your gestures should match your verbal communication.
The forth rule is culture. Certain gestures vary in meaning with different cultures. For example stroking the beard in Israel means, “I am deep in thought”.” In Austria the same gesture means “How boring”. In Ghana if you show your thumb with the other fingers cupped like the way some Malaysians show direction it would mean you are showing a vulgar sign to get lost.
BODY LANGUAGE SKILLS FOR PROFESSIONALSBody language skills training can benefit and be applied to most professions, especially those who interact with others during work. Let us look at two careers and how its application can benefit others.
SCHOOL TEACHERS
School teachers who lack body language skills won’t be good at teaching. Studies of American and European children who got the most out of formal learning showed that it was the consistent non-verbal skills of the teacher which made them effective and which created the environment for effective learning.
Firstly, good teachers who like others and are likeable smile and engage in eye contact with their students. They will try to stand close, bend to compensate for height difference and would nod approval of what students say or do.
Secondly, good teachers are confident and remain in control by standing tall, being relaxed and will laugh to encourage genuine laughter in others without making fun of others.
They will always look out for their students’ body language signs that need attention and will act immediately.
Thirdly, good teachers create interest in the subject by varying their facial expression and gestures when speaking; they lean forward and show genuine excitement to explain the topic effectively.
On the other hand, bad teachers shows dislike and are disliked when they hide behind the barrier of the desk; exhibit negative movements, tense gestures and closed postures. They don’t touch students, have poor eye contact and seldom smile.
Secondly, bad teachers who are not confident and often lose control are nervous, have tense voices that stammer and don’t notice body language signals that need attention.
Thirdly, bad teachers manufacture boredom in their students through their subject by monotonous voices, by moving about just a little in class, by getting bored themselves and showing unconscious signs of anger.
SALESPEOPLESalespeople who quit the selling profession often are unaware that their main problem is failing to understand the body language of their prospects and their own.
Their ability to interact with prospective customers through an understanding of behaviors, feelings and reaction to situations can help them sell well and keep them in their profession.
In body language skills training for salespeople, I often conduct role-playing, where a selling skill away from the real situation is first discussed then demonstrated.
I usually provide a written account of the background of the people and the situation and get my trainees to role-play.
For example, a prospective customer allows for interruption or answers the telephone. What does this behavior suggest and what should you do?
In role playing, I seek out the best selling techniques for dealing with that particular situation and then allow a feedback which may come from the other members of the group, which is done without disturbing those, involved.
Sales trainees who transfer what they have learnt in my training sessions to the real world of selling often grow in confidence not only in understanding their prospect’s behaviors better but in reacting with effective behavior of their own.
If you are one who has preconceptions about body language, then you have failed to know that we all communicate more with out bodies than with our words.
Albert Mehrabian researched the total impact of a message in communication and found that seven per cent is words while 38 per cent is the tone of voice, inflection and other sounds (vocal) and 55 per cent was non-verbal. Similar estimates were later confirmed by other researchers.
Strangely, we emphasize the verbal aspects of communication and have ignored the more than 90 per cent of the non-verbal aspects of communication.
We rely on words and then wonder why we sometimes miscommunicate, misunderstand, and fail to learn from it. We only know too well, that the biggest problem in all relationships is communication and yet end up doing the wrong thing. We should base the ideas we have about body language on sufficient information and experience.
This preconception about body language wasn’t an isolated case then. People in positions were just ignorant. They were not aware that it was a subject taught in universities as a big part of communication. Even today in this 21st century we need to debunk and explain these biases about these body language seminars to these aliens to arouse interest in them.
But wait a moment, because, the first international conference on non-verbal communication was only held in the 20th century recently (1967) in Oxford, organized by Britain’s famed authors and doctors of social psychology, Dr Michael Argyle and Dr Ralp Exlline. It was long after the 19th century (1872) publication by Charles Darwin on the first scientific study of nonverbal communication, “The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals.” So how could we be so well-read.
Today, institutes and centers for Non verbal studies have prospered both in Britain and in the United States of America. Writings and research on findings and communication techniques have filled books more so since the “Decade of the Brain” (1990 – 2000) discoveries in neuroscience where we have been provided a clearer picture of what the unspoken signs and signals mean. Because we now know how the brain processes nonverbal cues it has contributed much to self-improvement, interrogations, salesmanship, and therapies for normal and abnormal people and for those used by encounter groups.
FIVE MAIN PRECONCEPTIONS.
The first is body language is not important; oral language will do. On the contrary, there are clear and important similarities between verbal and non-verbal language.
Both are modes of communication. You use words when you have to be precise, detailed, or want to talk through problems, plans, solutions, and you use them to influence another person but not without the use of non-verbals, that is, appearance, posture, gesture, gaze, proximity, vocal qualities, facial expressions and smells.
Most of us are not aware that non-verbal and verbal communication has different functions. We don’t express emotions through words alone; we use our face and body too.
When establishing and maintaining friendships and other relationships we can’t do without non-verbal communication signals, such as proximity, tone of voice, touch, gaze and facial expressions.
In creating impressions on others through our physical behavior, we are deliberately or involuntarily sending a non-verbal message across and that’s important for both senders and receivers.
2. The second preconception is that body language differs across the world, so it is not important to learn it. To an extent, gestures vary in meaning in other parts of the world, but that only makes the study even more fascinating and relevant.
Desmond Morris, who traveled to more than 60 countries while making field studies of human behavior, says that certain familiar gestures do disappear and other strange ones take their place, but there are gestures that do not differ at all.
In fact, he says, they are universal and make you feel at home even when you are on the other side of the globe.
A smile is a smile the world over; a frown is a frown; a stare is a stare. Arms folding shows defensiveness; arms placed on the hips reveal that I feel anti-social-these are common gestures all over the world.
3. The third preconception is that body language is manipulative; you can put on a show just to get your way and therefore it is undesirable.
That’s only seeing the other side of the coin. All scientific discoveries can be used for good or bad and body language skills are no exception.
Skills in body language techniques and its importance in social behavior do not make being genuine and sincere less pleasing.
Individuals must exercise some restraint in their interpersonal feelings, such as aggression, if their organization or group is to function harmoniously.
It has been said that the most effective and desirable behavior is that of controlling the inner expressions of one’s feelings, which is one of the social training skills in body language.
Therefore, we should not assume that the skilled body language exponent will spend his time playing tricks on other people and controlling situations to his advantage.
4. The fourth preconception is that body language awareness and skills make people self-conscious and awkward in their interaction with others.
To answer that any trainer will tell you that when a person learns a new skill, such as handling a car or bicycle for the first time, he goes through stages when the behavior is awkward and requires full attention. Once these stages are over and competence is acquired, he doesn’t need to reflect on the training while he is driving or cycling. The skill to do that is habitual. The same is true with body language skills.
5. The fifth preconception about body language is that a single gesture means a single thing. Crossed arms, for example, may mean a closed mind, but it can also mean anxiety, anger or feeling cold. You can’t interpret one gesture without considering the whole context.
RULES FOR INTERPRETINGIn body language there are four main rules for interpreting. The first rule is cluster, where you have to look out for three or more gestures in order to interpret correctly.
The second rule is context, where we must take gestures into account based with the situation and the identity of the person using those. A person seated with arms and legs tightly crossed in a cold room, for example, may not mean a closed mind, but feeling cold.
The third is congruence where your gestures should match your verbal communication.
The forth rule is culture. Certain gestures vary in meaning with different cultures. For example stroking the beard in Israel means, “I am deep in thought”.” In Austria the same gesture means “How boring”. In Ghana if you show your thumb with the other fingers cupped like the way some Malaysians show direction it would mean you are showing a vulgar sign to get lost.
BODY LANGUAGE SKILLS FOR PROFESSIONALSBody language skills training can benefit and be applied to most professions, especially those who interact with others during work. Let us look at two careers and how its application can benefit others.
SCHOOL TEACHERS
School teachers who lack body language skills won’t be good at teaching. Studies of American and European children who got the most out of formal learning showed that it was the consistent non-verbal skills of the teacher which made them effective and which created the environment for effective learning.
Firstly, good teachers who like others and are likeable smile and engage in eye contact with their students. They will try to stand close, bend to compensate for height difference and would nod approval of what students say or do.
Secondly, good teachers are confident and remain in control by standing tall, being relaxed and will laugh to encourage genuine laughter in others without making fun of others.
They will always look out for their students’ body language signs that need attention and will act immediately.
Thirdly, good teachers create interest in the subject by varying their facial expression and gestures when speaking; they lean forward and show genuine excitement to explain the topic effectively.
On the other hand, bad teachers shows dislike and are disliked when they hide behind the barrier of the desk; exhibit negative movements, tense gestures and closed postures. They don’t touch students, have poor eye contact and seldom smile.
Secondly, bad teachers who are not confident and often lose control are nervous, have tense voices that stammer and don’t notice body language signals that need attention.
Thirdly, bad teachers manufacture boredom in their students through their subject by monotonous voices, by moving about just a little in class, by getting bored themselves and showing unconscious signs of anger.
SALESPEOPLESalespeople who quit the selling profession often are unaware that their main problem is failing to understand the body language of their prospects and their own.
Their ability to interact with prospective customers through an understanding of behaviors, feelings and reaction to situations can help them sell well and keep them in their profession.
In body language skills training for salespeople, I often conduct role-playing, where a selling skill away from the real situation is first discussed then demonstrated.
I usually provide a written account of the background of the people and the situation and get my trainees to role-play.
For example, a prospective customer allows for interruption or answers the telephone. What does this behavior suggest and what should you do?
In role playing, I seek out the best selling techniques for dealing with that particular situation and then allow a feedback which may come from the other members of the group, which is done without disturbing those, involved.
Sales trainees who transfer what they have learnt in my training sessions to the real world of selling often grow in confidence not only in understanding their prospect’s behaviors better but in reacting with effective behavior of their own.
If you are one who has preconceptions about body language, then you have failed to know that we all communicate more with out bodies than with our words.
Albert Mehrabian researched the total impact of a message in communication and found that seven per cent is words while 38 per cent is the tone of voice, inflection and other sounds (vocal) and 55 per cent was non-verbal. Similar estimates were later confirmed by other researchers.
Strangely, we emphasize the verbal aspects of communication and have ignored the more than 90 per cent of the non-verbal aspects of communication.
We rely on words and then wonder why we sometimes miscommunicate, misunderstand, and fail to learn from it. We only know too well, that the biggest problem in all relationships is communication and yet end up doing the wrong thing. We should base the ideas we have about body language on sufficient information and experience.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Animals their deception and the hoaxes of Conmen.
It is interesting to mention that animals too are known to use body language to communicate deception. For example, monkeys and apes were known to pretend not to be interested in a preferred object while a dominant animal was watching. They later sneaked back to get it.
In another observation an animal kept on limping after being hit by an investigator until the latter was out of sight, attempting to deceive the investigator that the punishment was severe enough.
The story of an actor Bushman who was earning only $200/= a week. His introducer promised huge unbelievable earnings of a $1,000 a week at Metro. Took him down the street to the Metro Office and started dropping coins all the way and a big crowd began following him right to the Metro Goldwyn Studio Office. Officers who saw him out of the window with the vast crowd of people following him, quickly judged his popularity and without any dispute gave him the whopping $1,000/= week salary. The fact was, not a living soul in the mob knew the actor Bushman.
Manipulation is the Con Man’s master key their victim’s weaknesses are his area of operation. They use their weaknesses to persuade them to want more for nothing thus deceptively violating the age old principle of what you give is what you get. (Not more not less, to the same measure you give out to others that’s the same measure you shall receive)
When you imagine a desirable thing through delusion that is false or mistaken impression, you are violating the law of God. Secondly people are social stimuli, they affect our behavior through the processes of reward and punishment and information. Con men know this without hesitation they use it to their wicked advantage.
An Indian saying says, “The conned man should be blamed not the con man”. It’s very important we guard ourselves, be alert and be wise don’t be blinded they are there in the least suspecting of places.
Generally we think that these conmen are the bad, ugly, and illmannered. In truth con men may be ‘good’ looking, polite, apologetic, mannered, kind and fit the ideal gentlemen. To my estimate there is one con man or woman for every 10 people, and the amount of people conned in a year by this one man or woman can be more than 10. Most women, girls or people conned by these men to my educated guess only one out of 10 report to the police.
Its important for people out there to make a report so that the police can alert others through the press without mentioning your names. Most of the women or men conned are lonely and single women or men who gets carried away by the emotional displays of intelligence of these conmen or women or both. Pretense, lies, evasion, misleading answers, story telling, imagination, silence, conversation with another accomplice to create deceitful impact upon the victim, emotional story telling to win victim’s sympathy, the use of hypnotic or sedative drugs, ploys, forge documents, gadgets, timing, internet, and the telephone are all gimmicks used as favorites by these disciples of the devil the evil conmen or conwomen.
They instill the spirit of independence to make their victims choose to decide for themselves instead of giving them the liberty to submit to other people’s opinions and advise. (They will tell you not to tell this to anyone and will discourage you from telling others) This is because others can see through them what you are blinded. Always ask for others opinion it can save you millions. Conmen’s target group are unsuspecting people, their approach is always a deceptive front.
The master conman every conman worships is the devil, Satan. Pretension is one of the most successful deceptive tools they use. Manipulation is the master key of the conman in deceiving and eluding their victim. Never underestimate the conman; they know how to use law and lawyers to protecting themselves. (And the use of black dyes with magical power to convince and persuade) Don’t be ignorant to their ways and devises to the extent that you are blind to their existence. For in blindness it’s impossible to face an enemy, let alone hold him at bay or defeat him.
Conmen too have personality they may have been orderly people turned disorderly. They may also have a “temperament” which attracts people to them, a character with the look of quality distinct from others. They may look and act well in comparison to others but if you hook them up to a polygraph machine they are evil personalities with no truth and character in them, when they speak, they speak lies according to their own disposition, because they are liars and associates of the devil who Jesus said is the father of the lie.
They are people with no conscience no morals no spirituality and have no faith in God. Unfortunately they have a small vocabulary with words like god, faith, love, worship, positive and emotionally charged words which they use in manipulating and pretending to be workers of righteousness swaying people to their way of thinking. Their deceptive devices shows no lack of imagination, they are varied and many. Some are so subtle that a person’s thinking can be cleverly twisted to justify as right things he ordinarily knows are wrong. Without our realizing they can be led to even serve what one believes is wrong.
Watch out for the conmen or women who has succeeded in getting your trust they will usually call you in the early hours of the morning when your brains are fresh and easily influenced to con you further. Beware!
In another observation an animal kept on limping after being hit by an investigator until the latter was out of sight, attempting to deceive the investigator that the punishment was severe enough.
The story of an actor Bushman who was earning only $200/= a week. His introducer promised huge unbelievable earnings of a $1,000 a week at Metro. Took him down the street to the Metro Office and started dropping coins all the way and a big crowd began following him right to the Metro Goldwyn Studio Office. Officers who saw him out of the window with the vast crowd of people following him, quickly judged his popularity and without any dispute gave him the whopping $1,000/= week salary. The fact was, not a living soul in the mob knew the actor Bushman.
Manipulation is the Con Man’s master key their victim’s weaknesses are his area of operation. They use their weaknesses to persuade them to want more for nothing thus deceptively violating the age old principle of what you give is what you get. (Not more not less, to the same measure you give out to others that’s the same measure you shall receive)
When you imagine a desirable thing through delusion that is false or mistaken impression, you are violating the law of God. Secondly people are social stimuli, they affect our behavior through the processes of reward and punishment and information. Con men know this without hesitation they use it to their wicked advantage.
An Indian saying says, “The conned man should be blamed not the con man”. It’s very important we guard ourselves, be alert and be wise don’t be blinded they are there in the least suspecting of places.
Generally we think that these conmen are the bad, ugly, and illmannered. In truth con men may be ‘good’ looking, polite, apologetic, mannered, kind and fit the ideal gentlemen. To my estimate there is one con man or woman for every 10 people, and the amount of people conned in a year by this one man or woman can be more than 10. Most women, girls or people conned by these men to my educated guess only one out of 10 report to the police.
Its important for people out there to make a report so that the police can alert others through the press without mentioning your names. Most of the women or men conned are lonely and single women or men who gets carried away by the emotional displays of intelligence of these conmen or women or both. Pretense, lies, evasion, misleading answers, story telling, imagination, silence, conversation with another accomplice to create deceitful impact upon the victim, emotional story telling to win victim’s sympathy, the use of hypnotic or sedative drugs, ploys, forge documents, gadgets, timing, internet, and the telephone are all gimmicks used as favorites by these disciples of the devil the evil conmen or conwomen.
They instill the spirit of independence to make their victims choose to decide for themselves instead of giving them the liberty to submit to other people’s opinions and advise. (They will tell you not to tell this to anyone and will discourage you from telling others) This is because others can see through them what you are blinded. Always ask for others opinion it can save you millions. Conmen’s target group are unsuspecting people, their approach is always a deceptive front.
The master conman every conman worships is the devil, Satan. Pretension is one of the most successful deceptive tools they use. Manipulation is the master key of the conman in deceiving and eluding their victim. Never underestimate the conman; they know how to use law and lawyers to protecting themselves. (And the use of black dyes with magical power to convince and persuade) Don’t be ignorant to their ways and devises to the extent that you are blind to their existence. For in blindness it’s impossible to face an enemy, let alone hold him at bay or defeat him.
Conmen too have personality they may have been orderly people turned disorderly. They may also have a “temperament” which attracts people to them, a character with the look of quality distinct from others. They may look and act well in comparison to others but if you hook them up to a polygraph machine they are evil personalities with no truth and character in them, when they speak, they speak lies according to their own disposition, because they are liars and associates of the devil who Jesus said is the father of the lie.
They are people with no conscience no morals no spirituality and have no faith in God. Unfortunately they have a small vocabulary with words like god, faith, love, worship, positive and emotionally charged words which they use in manipulating and pretending to be workers of righteousness swaying people to their way of thinking. Their deceptive devices shows no lack of imagination, they are varied and many. Some are so subtle that a person’s thinking can be cleverly twisted to justify as right things he ordinarily knows are wrong. Without our realizing they can be led to even serve what one believes is wrong.
Watch out for the conmen or women who has succeeded in getting your trust they will usually call you in the early hours of the morning when your brains are fresh and easily influenced to con you further. Beware!
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